Curing OpenhomeaphobiaOpen-home-a-phobic, noun (op-en-hom-a-fo-bick) From Latin phobicus; Greek phobikos; 1. Someone terrified to
open his or her home to guests. 2. Someone filled with anxiety due to
the overwhelming feelings that his or her home is not good enough for
company, the rooms not large enough, the food not tasty enough. 3.
Someone who panics at the thought of fitting hospitality into a
schedule jammed with deadlines, timelines and bottom lines. Symptoms
include: gagging at the word “guest”; uncontrollable urges to hide when
the doorbell rings; sweating when the church bulletin pleads for people
to include internationals for holiday meals.
2. NEVER apologize for the condition of your home. 3. If you are insecure with hospitality, be as SIMPLE as possible. Do only
coffee, tea and dessert. Hold a pie party and let the bakers in the
group bring the pies. Serve baked potatoes with toppings and a salad.
Have a soup-pantry supper; buy from a local grocery; serve from pans
off the stove. 4. Hold a potluck. Have everyone who comes bring something. 5. Plan a leftovers party. Have guests share their leftovers and add them
to yours. Ask, “What’s in your refrigerator? This is what’s in mine.” 6. Never do an in-depth cleaning before people come. Just pick up, light
candles, put out flowers. Clean after they go. 7. ALWAYS accept other people’s offer to help. 8. Bring people home after church. Let them set the table. Serve pancakes.
Serve French toast. Serve frozen waffles. 9. Extend hospitality as a team. Team with your husband or wife. Team with
your housemate. Team with friends. Team with church members or work
colleagues. 10. Pray before you invite anyone into your home. Ask God to provide the guest list. 11. Develop a list of standard conversational questions to rely on. Think
about each guest before he/she comes. Try to decide upon one thing you
really want to know about him/her. 12. Include
some element of silliness, like holding an evening when everyone brings
one funny story to tell. Or, eat the meal backwards, beginning with
dessert (a healthy one!). 13. Hold a “craving potluck.” Everyone brings something he/she really craves. Do this without pre-planning. 14. Organize a work-together exchange. “We’ll help you with this house
project if you’ll help us with this home project.” 15. When children are included, build some part of the event around them.
Then everyone participates in the activities. Everyone plays musical
chairs. Everyone dances (even the toddler) around the player piano. 16. Do things for the purpose of healing and welcoming—not to impress. What
kind of background music will soothe people after a busy day, a busy
week? What is something nice you can put on the table for a centerpiece? 17. Figure out some follow-up. Most likely, people will not write thank-you
notes. Can you call and tell them how much you enjoyed their being in
your home? Can you write a note? 19. Declare the purpose of the evening: “We invited you tonight so you
could have an opportunity to get to know one another better.” 20. It is perfectly appropriate to set time limits. Invite people for
dinner from 6:30 to 10:30. You can say (as you stand), “Well, this has
been a wonderful evening [or afternoon or breakfast], but many of you
have busy schedules tomorrow [or today], as do we, so we don’t want to
go late [or long], but we want to tell you before you leave how much we
have loved having you all in our home.” (David has often threatened to
come down in his pajamas with a similar message: “You all must be
getting tired…”!)
NOTICESAn Evening for MisfitsThrough the years, David and I have delighted in offering an outreach titled “An Evening for Misfits.” This is an opportunity to chat for those who feel on the outside of every group they have ever joined, can’t find a place to minister, can’t decide which are their most impelling gifts, etc. Generally, the people who show up for these singular events are the most creative, most delightful, most original folk we know. So, I am wondering if any of you have a nagging misfit identity you don’t know what do to with. For local folk, we can meet in my home in West Chicago; for faraway folk, we can set up a conference call on FreeConferenceCall.com. My email is karen@hungrysouls.org. Let’s see what kind of response there is, then I can make some plans. Reminder!The Soulish Food e-mails are
being
posted biweekly on the Hungry Souls Web
site. Newcomers can look that over and decide if they want to
register on the Web site to receive the biweekly newsletter. You might
want to recommend this to friends also. They can go to www.HungrySouls.org. Hungry Souls Contact InformationADDRESS: 29W377 Hawthorne Lane |
David & Karen Mains The very act of welcome and invitation is a God-like act. When we extend welcome, we are showing to others what God is like.
BOOK CORNER
Opening Our Hearts and Homes: Group Study Guide This
guide, created by Adele Calhoun and me, is an 8-week exploration of the
meaning of Scriptural Hospitality. Each week begins with a look at one
of the characteristics of the hospitable heart of God. He is: We want every participant in this study to experience God’s welcome on a personal level, then learn how to extend that welcome to others. Some of you are already highly hospitable, would you consider leading a group study into the scriptural meaning of hospitality yourself? A single guide is $8 per book plus book-rate shipping. For groups, we can offer study guides for $5 plus book-rate shipping costs. AND if any of you share an exceptional story of “radical” hospitality with me (hospitality over and beyond what we generally think of when we hear the word), I will gladly send a free study guide or copy of Open Heart, Open Home. My email is karen@hungrysouls.org.
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