Breathe

The New York Times Bestseller Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor is about just what its title indicates—breath. Several blurbs from the back-cover copy indicate why this book has had such a popular following.

Bonnie Tsui, author of Why We Swim, writes: “Breath shows us just how extraordinary the act of breathing is and why so much depends on how we do it. An enthralling, surprising, and often funny adventure into our most overlooked and undervalued function.” And if that commendation doesn’t intrigue you, how about this one from Dr. Steven Park, member of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and author of Sleep, Interrupted? “An eye-opening, epic journey of human devolution that explains why so many of us are sick and tired. A must-read book that exposes what our health care system doesn’t see.”

So why is Karen Mains pushing Breath? Well, I had a rather shocking annual physical examination on August 13 of this year, 2020. It appears that somewhere in my recent past I suffered a silent myocardial infarction—translation: heart attack. I am, not surprisingly, at risk for another. My kidneys are at half-function, down from 2/3 function at my last exam, so I have obviously been diagnosed with kidney failure. In addition, my blood pressure is whacko—144/69 (normal is 130/80), AND in addition (not to bore you with the full list), I am anemic.

This was a total surprise! In my mind, apart from not sleeping well, I felt great, went strong through each day, rising at 3-4 a.m. most mornings, then collapsing sometime in the afternoon, grabbing a nap of sorts, then going at half-speed until bedtime.

“What are you anxious about?” prodded my G.P., Dr. Kwiatkowski.

“Anxious?” I replied. “I’m not the anxious type.”

How little we often know ourselves. This is surprising, isn’t it?—being 77 years of age and having to sit oneself down and say, You may feel healthy, but you are NOT healthy.

Kwiatkowski persisted, “Well, with numbers like this, something appears to be stressing you out. Are you sure you’re not anxious about something? Under stress of some kind?”

I went home with her question on my mind. I asked the Lord of truth to bring me insight into this amazing diagnosis that basically equaled a collapse of my physicality. I had to face the teaching I had shared with others. I’ve often said, “Your body is your best friend. Pay attention when it speaks to you. Remember that its language is very literal.” My body was shouting at me: “Danger! Danger! Danger!” After a very frank come-to-Jesus meeting with myself, I reached some brutal conclusions:

1. I was stressing over having a too-full schedule. In addition, having to switch from face-to-face to Zoom virtual meetings was making me nervous.

2. Not only was the COVID-19 isolation forcing me to function in technological terrain that disquieted me, I had a pattern of lifelong RAMPING—pushing myself into warp speed without being aware this was a habitual function.

3. I like to think of myself as contemplative, but the activist side of myself had, through constant discipline, overtaken me way more than the side that loves silence, stillness and introversion. In fact, as I’ve aged, in a natural kind of progression, I’ve become much more of an extrovert than I had noticed.

4. I’ve taken on way too much—house manager, master gardener, gourmet chef (well, sometimes), laundress. To all this responsibility, add that I’m Co-Director of Mainstay Ministries, visionary accomplice with David, my husband, and family cultural liaison.

That’s enough—I’ve not touched on being mother to adult children or grandmother to some nine fabulous offspring, ages 9 to 27. You get the point I’m making.

Just in case you don’t “get” it, the point of all this listing is that, as I’ve aged, I’ve only added to my responsibilities and interests, but I haven’t subtracted anything. My body was loudly shouting: TIME TO STOP!

So, I canceled everything on my schedule for three months—October, November and December of 2020. I took one week to be still, to listen, to conduct a gentle-but-honest self-evaluation. Then as advised, I made appointments with three specialists—a dermatologist, a cardiologist and a gastroenterologist. In addition, I’ve shown up at the outpatient center at our local hospital for a DEXA bone scan, another renal panel and am setting up appointments for a colonoscopy, more blood work, weekly blood-pressure tests as well as medical consultations with a nephrologist, a gastroenterologist, etc. on various aspects of my failing physical state.

My major work for these days is to research and implement everything I can do with as little pharma as possible, and as a layperson working in tandem with my medical team, to collaborate in restoring as much health as is possible at my time of life.

Consequently, reading on nephritis—it can be halted but not reversed; reading on diet—plant-based as much as possible, avoid dairy and red meats; eat lots of greens and fruits; drink plenty of water. You get the point. Then, no rushing. Lots of free time just to be, to do whatever it is that relaxes me, brings me pleasure. Walk every day—even a half-hour daily walk five times a week is beneficial. Consequently, David and I have been exploring the delightful trails and forest preserves and paths all around us that we have NEVER sought out. Kline Creek Farm yesterday, the delightful restoration for city folk to visit and to consider what rural life is, situated just a couple miles from our home. Today, we’re going to explore St. James Place, a preserve with walking trails in nearby Warrenville.

I’m also learning to put my own well-being, for the present healing months, at the top of the list. AND, I’m refusing to watch the news or get involved in Facebook’s addictive machinations. In fact, I think I’m just going to write out reminders—memory is also a little iffy at this stage of life—but I am not going to let my days be ruled by the ever-present, ever-growing L-I-S-T.

Then, I am going to learn to breathe again. Consequently, the book Breath. The author insists we have forgotten how to do this essential physical activity. He maintains we are breathing all the wrong ways. Simply, breath only through your nose. Exhale all the air in our bodies so we can then get more into our bodies. Chew more—our diets “should consist of the rougher, rawer, and heartier foods our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmothers ate.”

So, I am conducting regular breathing sessions: Five slow counts in. Pause. Five slow counts out. Pause. Five slow counts in. Pause. Five slow counts out. Pause.

I spend an hour a day in quiet meditation, simply telling the Lord that I love Him and still want to serve Him. My breathwork is becoming a spiritual kind of mantra.

The rest of this old hymn follows, and I will memorize it in my future meditation sessions. It is exquisitely appropriate for my days of recovery and old-age transition.

So, how about you? Overstressed? A little nervous, all the time, around the edges? Is your body shouting? (Pay attention.) Mind jumping rapidly from one thing to another to something else? Can’t concentrate? Constant negative emphasis of our nightly (or daily) news getting you down? Turn it off. Do you have lists to keep track of your lists? Throw them away! Just do what the day presents at the moment it presents it. Laugh a lot. Funny family and friends are invaluable. Listen to beautiful music for an hour. Go someplace in nature you’ve never visited before. Breathe.

Karen Mains

Reminder!

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Hungry Souls Contact Information

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Karen Mains

BOOK CORNER

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy
by Jenny Odell

From the back-cover copy:

“Your chaotic, fraught internal weather isn’t an accident: It’s a business-model, and while ‘thoughtful resistance’ isn’t ‘productive,’ Jenny Odell proves that it is utterly necessary.”

— Cory Doctorow, author of Radicalized


“Jenny Odell breaks through the invisible yoke that binds twenty-first-century first-worlders to our app-driven devices. With a thoughtful look at the attention economy, Odell’s book is a self-help guide for relearning how to look at the world.”

— Megan Prelinger, author of Inside the Machine
Book on Amazon.com